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[15 May 2006|06:51am] |
tomorrow marks the end of my freshman year in college, and i feel like i should write about it.
this year overall was a good year...i'll give it that rating. Good, not bad, not amazing. I love it here and everything, but not everything was perfect by any means. I've had a lot of ups and downs, but then again i'm sure everyone has.
fall semester was so different than spring's. in the fall everything was new, and seemed more exciting. in the spring, my group of friends got a little screwed up at times...which made me upset. onto that, my health just got completely screwed up. i don't want to go into details, but i'm going to the doctor wednesday morning to finally get everything back to normal hopefully.
i realized certain mistakes i made my freshman year and will NOT make them next year. i am going to be a lot more social next year...and need to join something. i want to meet new people, new friends, be a part of new things. i guess being a freshman entitles me to make a few mistakes. then again, you're "allowed" to make mistakes no matter how old you are.
good points of my year:
+ having the coolest roommate EVER...i seriously consider Rachel to be my sister, and am going to miss being around her almost 24/7. even though i'll definitely see her over the summer, it'll be weird at first not sleeping in the same room! haha
+ meeting some good friends
+ making dean's list fall semester, and it's looking good for spring's too
+ spring fling concert...definietely one of my favorite things all year
+ trips to ithaca and new paltz were all amazing
bad points:
- stupid drama between my friends at times
- missing my friends back home...a lot
- stupid health problems
- not having my car
- meeting people who turned out to be assholes
so yeah...i would think of more but i don't feel like it. today's a busy day...i have my geography final at 430 and have to do some stuff before it. tomorrow morning is my stats final at 830, and then freshman year is officially over. i'm looking forward to summer...seeing my friends again, the beach, working...all that good stuff :)
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[25 Apr 2006|07:47am] |
Works Cited
Long Island- Wikipedia, the Free Encylopedia. 22 Apr 2006. 8 Apr 2006
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/long_island>.
Billy Joel Biography. 2002. 8 Apr 2006
<http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/billy-joel-biography/b5e6e558fef8c8d1482568700013a7bc>.
Kelly, Laura. “Long Islander Defends Homeland.” The Daily Orange 18 Sep 2002. 8 Apr 2006 <http://www.dailyorange.com/media/storage/paper522/news/2002/09/18/opinion/column.long.islander.defends.homeland-275895.shtml>.
Long Island Alzheimer’s Foundation- Press Releases. 2003. 8 Apr 2006 <http://liaf.org/pressreleases04.shtml>.
Long Island Crime- New York. 2006. 8 Apr 2006 <http://www.longislandexchange.com/crime_statistics.html>.
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[16 Apr 2006|08:32am] |
i haven't updated in SO long, and i should...especially since it's Easter Break and I want to make sure I remember how awesome it was.
every time i come back to long island, i appreciate it more and more. i do love binghamton, but life is just so much easier at home. it's so easy for me to go downstairs to my kitchen and eat whatever the hell i want. it's so easy for me to hop in my car and go anywhere i want. it's so easy for me to spend time with my friends & family. everything is just easier. and once i go back to school, getting good grades, homework, essays, etc. all replace those easy things. and it's hard to find a good balance, but i know i did. things have been good between my Binghamton friends lately, and i hope that continues. once i go back tomorrow, i only have 4 more weekends of my Freshman year. One of which will feature Straylight Run/Motion City Soundtrack/HelloGoodbye coming, so i'm really excited about that. i think adam is coming that same weekend, and that's always fun since him, rachel and me always have good times.
soooo anyway, this spring break.
tuesday- me and rachel got back to Long Island around 4, and we did a good job, except for hitting traffic at the GW bridge, but that always happens. my mom made such a good dinner that night, and it felt like i hadn't eaten in weeks. i hate the food at school, it's the same thing over and over. and damn, does that get tiring after a while. that night i just stayed home, since none of my friends were here yet. watched 'american idol' with my parents, and went to bed pretty early...
wednesday- had all of my doctor appointments...first went to the dentist, then to the doctor. had some health issues confirmed and got some medication for it, and will get the rest when i come home in may. i took my second blood test within the last month and actually didn't pass out for once...the lady made sure i was all relaxed and everything and i barely felt a thing! i was proud of myself. afterwards...i went to panera with my mom, ulta and the fruit&vegetable store. i applied to some stores, ate another good dinner, and fekas + roopie came over that night.
i love how our group of friends can all go away, lead separate lives, and once we come back together, it's as if no time had passed. if anything, i appreciate my friends so much more after not seeing them everyday. same thing with my parents...i make sure when i'm home to spend time with them, since they really do miss me when i'm not here. i have said maybe 10 words to my brother since i've been home...he's never here. he really is like a boarder, just comes and goes as he pleases. my parents told me they really do miss having kids in the house, and i feel bad...but at the same time, i have to go to college and live my life since...that's life.
thursday- went to Sunken Meadow and walked to the boardwalk with my dad, which was awesome. i went to target to get some stuff, and talked to maybe 2 people. that store always confuses me...this particular visit home, i just felt like there's really not much there for me anymore. heather, jenn, cartman, and maybe a few others are the only ones i look forward to seeing. and i didn't even get to see some people i like to see since they were either away, or just not there. i took an availability form for the summer...but i really am not looking forward to going back there. i'm going to try and avoid it, actually. i feel like i don't fit in there anymore. i miss the old target, the way it was a year ago...when we had such a cool group of friends and all looked forward to working together. now there's just...bad management, all these new 16 year olds, slutty high school girls, and bitchy assholes who think they own target. and i'm thinking...get out, fast. and i'm going to try. if i get another job, i like it and it offers more money, my days there are over.
had another good dinner that night...and later went to roopie's house with people. more people came home, and it was fun times as alwaysss
friday- went to the mall with people in the morning, where i bought some stuff...i love actually having money. i got my tax return check, so i had some of that to spend which made me happy. joanne got a job at AE and was so cute, we all tried on stuff so we could talk to her in the fitting room. every time i pass abercrombie now i think of all those shit guidelines they have to work there from heather haha i could not believe some of those.
i decided that i need to take a hobby for my own good, and my mom told me reading would be a good one to start. i need something to take my minds off of things, because not many people really know what goes on in my head. i don't share it very often, and am embarassed to at times. so i don't, and i figure that whenever i think too much, i can read and not think about anything. which is really what i need to do. so i got this book from the library and am on page 60 i think, and am actually happy about that.
we got pizza that night...and then i went to leanne & lauren's joint birthday thinger. mostly everyone was there, babs was on vacation in pennsylvania so he wasn't. caitlin came home for the weekend, and i love seeing her since she's just an amazing person. paul surprised us all by coming home as well, and it was great seeing him. he took a chinatown bus 4 hours just to come home, so we all were so ecstatic to see him. i got to talk to a few people that night really in depth, and it helped me a lot. it's hard sometimes at school to have in depth conversations with people, since they all take place either online or the phone. well, i don't talk on the phone much, so for me it would be online. i actually hate having serious conversations online, since you can never see the person's real reactions to things. I could be telling someone a problem i'm having, and they could be doing 5 other things while talking to me. not like that's bad or anything, but when you talk to someone in person, it's different. that's why i love being home, and being able to look people in the eyes and actually talk to them about things.
yesterday- i went to target in the morning and talked to Jenn, Heather and Cartman a little...i'm sad i didn't get to hang out with them this break, but we'll definitely have good times over the summer. I went to the beach afterwards with everyone, which was a good time. I only put sunblock on my face...which resulted in every other body part of mine getting sun poisoning. especially my legs, and right below my neck. and it hurts, like hell. thank god for aloe vera.
we later went to ben and jerry's...which was my first and last time. no way in hell will i ever pay 3.26 for a scoop of sherbert again. i think that's even worse than coldstone. i can go to my corner and get a nice size frozen yogurt for 2.20, and it's so much better. but whatever, it was a treat. after we went to nicole's house, but i left pretty early since i felt like crap. my legs felt like icicles, and i just felt weird in general. it's my own fault, and you'd think i would learn by now that me + no sunblock= hell to pay.
so...here i am. after this, i'm going to revise my rough draft for English, and maybe read some geography before my aunt gets here. probably won't do the geography, but yeah. me and rachel are going back to bing at 12 tomorrow, so we'll get there around 4-430 i'm thinking.
this really has been a fun break...i did miss amanda, it's just not the same for me when she's not here. i did miss babs too, i feel like i never get to spend time with him anymore, even when i am home. hppefully over the summer there will be more time to do just that. i'm glad i got to be with my parents, and my friends, since they all mean everything to me.
i'm going to try and have more confidence in myself in the next couple of weeks, since it really is bad for me to be so hard on myself. my head just thinks so insanely sometimes, and i don't know why. but hopefully, i'll figure it out.
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[22 Mar 2006|08:19pm] |
woah, i am in MAJOR need of an update
so things have been good lately
break was AMAZING...i loved being with my friends, and visiting my friends from target, and being with my family, actually eating good food, and just relaxing as much as i wanted. it was exactly what i needed.
listen to my next two weekends:
this weekend: amanda's coming! and adam! ahhh awesome :)
next weekend: me and rachel are driving up to albany, where i will get on a bus and go to new paltz to see my favorite two guys in the entire world...AHHHH :)
i have so much to look forward to, and that makes me so so so so so happy, i can't stop smiling
19 is looking like a really amazing year so far
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[04 Mar 2006|07:08pm] |
so i figure it's time for an entry
everything's been pretty great lately, for once i can't complain about too much. it really is so easy to complain about things...especially in this journal. but since i know people don't really like reading about those kind of things, i'll try to keep it to a minimum always.
i go home in pretty much 5 days now, and i am SO excited. i need to see my family, friends, car, co-workers. i need to eat good food that isn't salad, vegetables, or ham & cheese sandwiches. i need to be in my house and drive around in my car down the same streets i've known all my life. i need to laugh with people i love more than anything. and to be home for 8 full days is going to be soooo great.
march 18th= my 19th birthday. it kind of feels weird, actually. i guess it's not a major birthday or anything but it's weird to think that next year i'll be 20...officially no longer a teenager. i can remember when i was like 13, and that all felt so far away. i really wonder where i'm going to be in 10...5...2 years from now. i could still be doing the same thing i'm doing now, which is going to college and living life. i could be in love, i could be in debt, i have no fucking idea. but i guess time will tell with all of that.
it's going to be pretty much a girl's spring break this year, since most of my guy friends won't be home :( it's okay though, i'm happy to see whoever is home at the same time as me. and summer isn't too far away...in fact, i'm pretty sure it's going to come so quick along with everything else.
i have a list of 9 places i'm applying to over spring break, just to keep my options open. there's a good chance that none of the places will call me anyway, but i just might need a second job. i'm not sure target's worth it anymore, but we'll see.
and i guess that's about it- i'll see some of you in 5 days :)
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[27 Feb 2006|09:54pm] |
alright so i'm going to try this new thing where i don't think so negatively all the time. My mind never shuts off and is seriously always thinking about something, 95% of the time something stupid but anyway, I'm going to try and make the best of what I have. And not dwell so much on what I don't have.
there's still drama going on up here and I really hope it gets resolved soon. I hate seeing people I care about upset, and I can't do anything to help.
so i don't have a boyfriend...not the end of the world. I'll find one, whenever that is, and when I do it'll be great. Until then...all is good.
i'm doing good in school and i feel like i'm in good shape for once, besides some weird health things going on, i feel a lot better about myself. I have a shitload of appointments over spring break, including blood work, grosssss
so in conclusion:
me= happy
life= good
so let's fucking keep it this way for a while
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[26 Feb 2006|01:53pm] |
well, a LOT of stuff has been going on lately, i'm not sure really where to begin
my parents came up this weekend, and it was so great having them here. i really feel so lucky to have my parents, i'm not sure what i would do without them, so hopefully i'll never have to find that out.
after they left last night...things got pretty fucked up. Well I had a bad headache for whatever reason, and was just upset. It felt like it was the first night being back up here in January, when I broke down about being away from home. I really do miss my friends, and sometimes I feel like I don't have too many up here. I know that sounds stupid, but I feel like not too many people know me up here. Or care to take the time to get to know me. Besides Rachel of course, she's like my sister. Especially since this semester has started, I feel certain friendships I have slowly crumbling, and I don't like that feeling at all. This whole feeling is new to me since my friends at home NEVER made me question their love for me. And I really do miss everyone so so much.
and last night in the midst of all this, i got a phone call from my ex-boyfriend, and we talked for a good half hour or so, which was nice. it felt like we were friends, and that was cool. then i caught him in a lie from a few weeks ago, which made me feel real nice (yeah you know that's sarcasm). I can't take it when people lie to me, seriously. I know everyone lies every now and then, but there's certain things you don't forget to tell people. and even though i care less about what the lie was ABOUT, i still care about the fact that he lied.
things got rough last night for my best friend up here, and i feel bad that i wasn't there for her. It's always nice when people who don't even know someone confront them, judge them, make ridiculous remarks, and cause so much unnecessary drama. I thought we were all 18 going on 19, not 12. But then again, I could be wrong. I'm not too sure what will happen with that whole thing, but I hope everything works out somehow.
only 10 more school days to get through until i can be home and see people i miss to death. my birthday's march 18th, and I'll be 19 :) even though i've got a paper, mid-term and test all next week, it's going to be alright, and I won't stress.
if i've learned anything from this weekend, i realized how important it is to keep those you care about really close, since you're never guaranteed that they'll be there the next day. you think you know people and they change, sometimes not for the better. although this is life, it's not one particular part i really enjoy accepting.
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[21 Feb 2006|09:24pm] |
well i guess i'll update since i haven't in a while
lots of stuff has been going on lately, some good, some bad...as much as i'd love to focus on the good things, the bad just always seem to overpower the good.
one thing i'm kind of upset about is the whole housing situation for next year. rachel's my roommate of course but i thought somehow we'd work out a suite with my other friends...but that doesn't look like it will happen. so me & rachel are gonna be put in some random suite, which i guess isn't so bad since we can meet new people...i will miss gina though :(
the kids in my english class are so opinionated and annoying. i don't mind people that have opinions...but in the process of telling your opinions, i hate it when people just completely shut everything else out. like they have their opinion and everything else is wrong. i walked out of class today just so...mad. i didn't say a word the whole class since i had nothing to say. but yeah, i don't get people sometimes
actually, i REALLY don't get some people. and i'm not going to try to anymore. i know who my friends are and who is important to me, and those are the people who matter to me. going away really makes me appreciate the friends that i have, since it's not everyday you find people like them.
rachel is going to have her car next semester and i'm so so excitedddd, pizza every monday night, yayyyy
when i come home for spring break, i'm job hunting. don't worry target people, i'm not quitting...just finding a job that pays better. since i'm on leave, i basically will never get a raise, so i kind of have to find a second job. i might just do target on the weekends or something, we shall see. i can't leave target completely though since...i'm a loser like that :)
alright i'm out, it's cold and my hands are maddddddd dry<3
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[12 Feb 2006|09:18pm] |
so0o0o there was a blizzard on long island this weekend, with 27 inches in central park...
binghamton got absolutely no snow at all
i found that to be pretty weird/funny
this weekend wasn't all that eventful, i figured that would happen since it's impossible to have two good weekends in a row. maybe i'm the only one who noticed or who thinks this, but it really is hard to have two consecutive good thing happen in a row. if i have a really good day, the next one is never as good. that's just the way my life has always been, it actually is predictable
i guess i've had a few things on my mind lately, which become a little overpowering at certain times. like last night around 1 am, i really just was upset. one thing i don't like about myself lately is i am EXTREMELY over paranoid about certain things. i would say what those "certain things" are, but you would think i'm ridiculous, so i won't.
one random thing that really bothers me lately is commercials about dieting, losing weight, or anything to that effect. i feel like every 2 minutes a commercial comes on about that, and it just annoys the crap out of me. i feel like so much of our society is based on physical appearance, it's kind of sad. i know that's reality though...as much as no one wants to admit it. i guess that topic has always been a sensitive one for me...for different reasons.
i don't want to be pessimistic this whole entry so i'll start with some positive things. my classes are all going pretty well, and haven't gotten too hard yet. i've been meaning to make an appointment with an academic advisor to talk about majoring in psych, and what exactly that would entail. i really want to be a cognitive psychologist one day, i want to help people with their problems. i know that sounds kind of funny since i know i have my own problems, but helping people always makes me feel good in the long run.
i call my parents every single night and talk to them for about a 1/2 hour. and every time i talk to them, the more i miss them. as hard as it is for them to have me leave, it's just as hard for me to leave them. yeah yeah i'm 19, and i still am close to my parents, what can i say. i know how unheard of it is for a kid to be close with their parents at that age, but oh well. it's weird to know life goes on down there while i'm up here. then again, i don't live there anymore. i really live here now, and visit there. and that aspect of my life hasn't officially sunken in 100% yet.
other positive things...i go to ithaca this friday, and i am so completely excited for that. it'll be my first trip on a bus by myself, which hopefully won't go so bad. i'm staying until sunday morning...and then the following weekend my parents are coming up, which i'm really looking forward to. then there's one more weekend...and then home :) i can't WAIT
alright...i think i've bored you enough<3
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[08 Feb 2006|03:50pm] |
time goes by so fast
like it's already wednesday...
next week's valentine's day, half-way through february
geez, it's kind of scary sometimes
sometimes i feel like i don't have enough time to do everything i want since i never know what is going to happen
so0o0o everything's been fine lately, not too much to say
things got a little weird on sunday for me, if you call getting dizzy/passing out standing on a chair, falling on the floor and knocking over your whole computer
besides that, my week's been fine
i helped my brother with his math all night monday on the phone and i felt good about it afterwards
i miss him, and my family
i miss my friends a lot, and i'm looking forward to going to ithaca in 9 days :) i'm sure that will come quick since once again, time goes fast
and i realized that i'm not going to bother with some people anymore if every time i talk to them, they just make me feel like they could care less about me. because as i stated, time goes by fast, and i'm not going to waste it on people that don't show mutual feelings.
i'm tired of pretending like certain people consider me a good friend when they don't, and if they say that i am, they're full of crap. yeah i've gone away to college, but i didn't die. and i shouldn't be treated like i did
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[05 Feb 2006|01:14pm] |
this weekend was sooooooo much fun, best one i've had in a while
amanda came to visit! it was so awesome seeing her, and it really felt like she went here once we got settled and everything. adam was visiting this weekend too so the four of us all hung out a lot :)
friday night we picked amanda up at the bus station and then went and got pizza...i do miss my villa napoli pizza but here you can get a 12-slice sicilian pie for 8 bucks, not too bad. we went back to our dorms and just hung around with everyone all night. Geez our suite was crazy that night, Mandy & Kelly had people playing beer pong in their room while our friends played beer pong in Gina's room. I thought it was so funny that happened when Amanda came since our suite is usually overall pretty quiet. I loveee when Gina's drunk, it's sooooo funny, oh man. And our suite has a sandwich maker I found out?! Holy crap, that is cool.
soo0o0o yesterday we had brunch at the dining hall, I showed Amanda around our campus for a little bit, then we went to the mall with Rachel & Adam. Of course it had to be like Boy Scout Day at the mall...there was this racecar competition or something going on in the center of the mall, and I wanted to strangle the kid for talking on the microphone all day after a while haha. I like our mall better than Smithhaven...there's more stores and it's brighter. Smithhaven's pretty dark, and it feels weird at times. Once we got out of the mall it was POURING so me and Amanda were walking back to the car with Adam's coat over our heads since we were geniuses and didn't bring coats.
went back to the dorm, watched "The Notebook"...i loveeeeeeee that movie. Just reminds me more of the fact that I want someone :/
thennnnnnn we went to IHOP for dinner. i love this that happened before we went:
me: ok so when do you guys want to go?
adam: i'm really not that hungry
rachel: you JUST said a minute ago that you were fucking starving
hahaha those two entertain me beyond belief.
amanda had her chocolate chip pancakes and i had french toast...since i was craving that for whatever reason. Rachel made her wall of croutons and Adam ate...everything.
came back and hung around til the "Hangover" party, which turned out to be pretty good. The place was so gross though, beer all over the floor wherever you walked...all of the bottoms of our jeans are so filthy, nasty. And holy crap were people smoking so much weed at that party, it became ridiculous after a while. People just smoke it right on top of you, I wouldn't be surprised if I second-hand smoked that. I personally hate everything about pot, so that was kind of annoying.
at the end when we were leaving there was this fight that broke out, and it got kind of scary. Luckily our cab came like five minutes later but I was scared for a few seconds haha then we crashed when we got back here.
this morning there was a 4th floor brunch? which was weird since we never do floor bonding activities of any kind...i love how we all just took our food and left haha, oops. dropped amanda off at the station :( sadness, BUT i go to ithaca in 12 days, so it's okay :)
AWESOME weekend, i'm sad it's over!
butttttt i bought "10 things i hate about you" and "cruel intentions" just now, which makes me happy
and i should go write my literacy autobiography now, peace<3
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[02 Feb 2006|07:06pm] |
so one of the most important people in my life inspired me to start this up again...and i realized i should. I want to remember things that are happening in my life right now, since there's a lot. I was reading over some of my old entries...and wow, have things changed. I'm still me but these last few months to a year have been so different.
alright so what should i write about....there's
-college
-guys
-friends
-family
-random things
i guess i'll go in order.
college is great. I can't say I'm in love with it or anything, but I'm really happy with my decision to go away. It kills me sometimes to be so far away from people I love back home, but it really is worth it to go away. I don't have any regrets about it, and hope I never will. I've met some great friends here...and gotten so close to one of the greatest people i've ever met (yes, you, roomie!) :) After having somewhat of a psycho of a suitemate last semester, it feels great that she transferred. I'm glad Gina has a normal roommate now...and that we don't have to see piss on the toilet seat or overhear Chinese phone conversations 24/7. Of course I've met some people I'm not too fond of here...but doesn't that happen everywhere? But yeah, that pretty much sums up everything.
andddddd onto guys. or lack thereof, I guess you could say. I had a great summer with a guy, first real relationship I had with someone I actually cared about...but that's gone now. Not really by choice, it just wasn't meant to be. He's there, I'm here, and our lives are just at two completely different points. This happened in September...since then I've been looking. Not really seeing too many, having my occasional Target crushes still when I returned over Christmas break...you know how it goes. That store really is like hook-up central...and I'd hate to disappoint that reputation. Honestly, that job gets so boring sometimes, how can you fucking not think "WOW that guy is hot" when you're folding men's sweaters.
my friends from home...I miss them all terribly. I miss my conversations with Amanda face-to-face, hearing Brandon's laugh, making fun of Andrew, doing impressions for Steve and everyone, you know, the friends stuff. I loved going back Christmas break and having it feel like nothing ever happened. I really hope our group of friends stays as close as we are. Everyone's so important to me, and I'm not sure I'd be who I am without some of them.
family...yeah I miss my family a lot. I call my parents every night, I'll admit it. I even miss my brother, even though we don't have much of a relationship these days. He's doing his own thing, and I respect that. I do wish he wouldn't give my parents such a hard time sometimes, but he's a good person, and I know he'll be okay.
random things...this should be the funny part. So okay, at school...I love to dance. Me and Rachel have so much fun just saying and doing the most RANDOM shit you can imagine. Adam comes to visit in a few hours, and I can't wait honestly. He's like a brother in a fucked up...way, we all have such good laughs.
so that's basically a good summary of everything right now. I'm going to try and write in this thing everyday about my day...this was kind of just an overall entry I guess. We'll see how this goes :)
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[29 Apr 2005|10:14am] |
cathy inspired me to write a very random entry...mine won't be as cool as hers but i'll try haha
i just feel really weird about this vacation...it's Friday already and I feel like I haven't done very much? Sounds kind of strange. Maybe it's the fact that alot of people went away, that I feel like I haven't seen people. I don't know, maybe I'm just the weird one.
so it's going to be May...that really excites/scares me at the same time. It's going to be so hard leaving high school, for me atleast. I've never had to say good-bye to people very much over the course of my life. Those people being acquaintances/people I've been going to school with forever that I know I won't talk to after high school. It's just weird for me.
prom's coming up soon, I'm excited but really unsure of what's going on with that...our group needs to make some plans soon, or attempt to.
yesterday I went to the Tanger Outlets with Amanda and her family...definetely my favorite day of vacation so far. The car rides with her family should really be videotaped and given a TV show, holy crap. I wish I had some of it on videotape, it was that funny.
me and Amanda went off on our own and had a slow start...but then went to Aero and everything was better. Overall I bought 6 tank tops, a tote bag, sandals, necklace and hair clips. Yeah, a lot for me haha Amanda was proud. And I still need shorts, capris, accessories and sunglasses...I'll use my government check with that stuff.
i realized yesterday that I listen to the same CD's a lot lately...especially the Used. That is a very good CD, you should try it if you haven't already. Their new one I mean, I haven't heard the old one.
i really want an ipod but it wouldn't work since my mom refuses to let me download anything on my computer. It sucks because I see people's and they seem fun to have, blah.
i have work today 2-6, and I'm covering for the "Hero of Target"...aka this kid that is very well known and was our "Team Member of the Month" the one month we actually did that. I actually just took the hours since there was a sign up, I never had actually talked to him before. But he came into the break room the other day and was like "Are you the Kristen that's taking my shift? Thank you so much, I really appreciate it," which made me feel nice. And he's a nice kid so I really don't mind covering at all...plus it's salesfloor :)
dawson's creek is on in the background...I've watched it a lot this vacation. It's always going to be my favorite show, I love it. I'm not a fan of the later episodes but it's still nice to have on in the background.
i want it to get warmer out...I need to get tanner, and need to be at the beach. The beach is my favorite place to be. Since my mind is always thinking about something stupid, the beach helps me to relax and think about absolutely nothing.
my car's kind of dirty again from all the stupid pollen, I hate that. The inside's still really clean though, since I vaccummed it good a week or two ago. I may have to wash it again if the rain doesn't keep getting the pollen off, which has been happening, so it's okay.
i think i hit my arm on something since I feel like I got a black and blue right on my bone...it's been hurting me for a few days. It's weird though since no bruise or anything is there, I don't get it.
eh alright i've had enough fun rambling and I need to get in the shower, have a nice day.
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[21 Apr 2005|04:01pm] |
helloooo...haven't updated in a while, or 8 days
well the last entry is still sad for me to read about, so I figured I'd write a new one since everyone just loves to read about my life that much haha.
not much has changed...work has been work, school has been school, I've been getting extremely lazy lately, especially in Statistics. I have an AP test in about two weeks and have done none of the review packets. Amanda, we suck haha we just copy the answers out of the scoring guidelines. I don't really care too much about how I do on that test, if you couldn't tell. I think I could get a 3, I'll study a little for it when it gets closer, but it won't effect me either way.
brandon intentionally freaked me out today when he drove behind these two ladies walking and it looked like he was going to hit them, holy crap, that was funny...and scary.
mr. bennett really pissed me off today with that test, which was impossible. I actually did study a little too, and the things I studied I knew...but not looking at bones and labeling them. And since that was like 80% of the test, I don't think I did so well :/ haha oh well, it is forensics after all.
i cut my hair...it's a little shorter than I thought it was going to be, but it's okay. Change is good, and I was getting too annoyed with the long hair.
tomorrow's the last day before spring break :) awesome. And as of now I only have 9.5 hours for the week, even though I'm sure I'll be called in one of those days. That store makes absolutely no sense...they don't schulede people and just end up calling you in. I get so sick of the people who run that place...yesterday for example when my friend came in and started talking to me, and I got in trouble for him standing there. I was still WORKING, it's not like I was standing there doing nothing. Apparently one of the executives was "watching me" the whole time, which really creeps me out. Eh, whatever haha I don't care about their dumb rules, we all break them.
uhhh nothing else is really new. I'm sure once I go to college I'll have some new stories to tell, but until then I guess it's the same old bullshitting, sorry<3
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[12 Apr 2005|02:16pm] |
last night was the most painful and horrible experience of my entire life. It broke my heart to walk up to the place and see a line wrapped around the whole building waiting to pay respects to Jonathan Karp. Many people from my job were there...managers, co-workers, friends. It was obvious by the amount of people there that so many people had respect and love for this kid. And he deserved every single ounce of respect and love poured out to him last night by his loved ones. He was a great guy, had so much to live for. I am truly going to miss him, and I doubt there will be a day anytime soon where I don't think about him. It just kills me.
i had his funeral card in my back pocket the whole day, no one knew that. I took it out at 9:45 am and held it in my hand, when he was getting buried. At that point Mr. Bennett had to tell some bullshit story about a kid blowing a stop sign on him or whatever. And that we need to stop driving so bad, or we'll be dead. That made me cry. Just the way he said it, so harshly just got to me.
the next period, I gave a note to Mr. Forzano saying why I didn't do my homework. His response..."Why are you here, then?" Honestly, I shouldn't of been. I should of been at that funeral, and I'm kicking myself for it now. I did pay my respects last night, but at that moment it didn't feel like enough. And, I cried to myself more. It's just a terrible experience.
i didn't talk to any of my friends today. Barely any, atleast. It was hard for me to considering no one really knew the person I was so crushed over. And, I can understand that...you can't exactly make someone feel better when you don't know who it was. I wasn't asking for anything from anyone today, I was relying on myself to deal with this. I'm trying...just give me time.
anyway, I just thought maybe some people would have liked to know why I was the way I was today. And, there you have it.
i'm disabling the comments on this entry since...what would you even know what to write? I wouldn't either. There really is nothing anyone can say to help me with this, unless you knew him. All I can say is I'll be okay in time, it's just rough right now.
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[10 Apr 2005|10:19am] |
it seems that every single time i say things in life are going good, and looking up...everything turns upside down again. I just wish for ONCE I could have more than two good days in a row. I hate complaining and bitching about everything, but I am just so sick of it. It's time like these when I can't wait to go to college and start completely over. Maybe that will be the time of my life when I'll be genuinely happy.
i'm just really, not myself right now. Yesterday, one of my co-workers died in a car accident. I wasn't good friends with him, but I literally worked with him ALL the time. I always saw him, he was a pretty quiet kid. I've said hello to him before, and god I can remember the last thing he said to me. It was Saturday night, when our power flicked off for a few seconds. And he told me that if anyone needed help to their car, to let him know since the lights were off in the parking lot. I just can't believe it. I just worked with him on Wednesday night, it's just unbelievable to me. It really is crushing...a 17 year old, nice, sweet kid with his whole life stolen from him. I can't think of anything more tragic. I really feel so incredibly sorry for his family and his closest friends. I really wish I had gotten to know him better than I did. It just makes me think that anything can happen in life. One day you're standing next to someone, the next...they're gone. It's just really hard for me to understand.
trying to look up on things...I worked salesfloor last night, and I really liked it. It was pretty hard, but I think I did a good job. I might tell them they can schulede me for both salesfloor or cashiering, I'm not sure yet. There has been so much going on at Target lately...3 major managers got fired, one of them was mine. And I liked her, and just saw her Friday when I picked up my check. I said hi to her...apparently two hours later she got fired. I just, can't believe how fast things can happen to people. It really blows me away.
i have work at 12:30...I'm going to try and smile more today, and be myself. And I'll try to make this week a good one, even though it's hard.
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[06 Apr 2005|01:35pm] |
yeahhh it's a gorgeous day out and I'm here writing this, that makes sense! haha i'm going outside in a few minutes.
hmmmm a summary of my last week or so in the shortest ways possible:
~i'm going to Binghamton University for the next 4 years :) I'm excited about it...andddd Rachel's going too, woohoo
~warm weather makes me EXTREMELY happy.
~all car rides should have the music blasting and the windows rolled down...the car ride to Bagel Boss with "Fat Lip" and Straylight was awesome today with everyone
~I saw the "Plays with Squirrels" Boy Meets World episode, and it was pretty damn funny I must say. Placebos is still my favorite thoughhh haha
~I decided to take the whole week of prom/Graduation/Westhampton off from work...so that's June 24th-30th. And...I'm going to have my last day at work before college the week of August 7-13, then I'm going on Leave of Absense...weird to think about. But, I'm doing that since I don't want to work my last week here. (just editing: I meant I don't want to work the following week haha people keep thinking I'm leaving so early, I'm leaving around 22nd, 23rd, something like that)
..overall, life is really really good right now. I'm hoping it stays this way.
kay I'm off to braid my hair and enjoy this weather :)
<333 (sorry my updates are boring)
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[02 Apr 2005|10:42am] |
ONE: Pick 10 musicians.
TWO: Post them and see who can guess which song of each musician's is your favorite.
THREE: Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include your favorite song (I won't put the song once someone guesses it just so other people can guess :)
1. Straylight Run
2. Jimmy Eat World
3. Cartel
4. Like Yesterday
5. Yellowcard
6. Lux Courageous
7. Evanescence
8. Avril Lavigne
9. Ashlee Simpson
10. My Chemical Romance
I thought this looked cool...some of them are really easy, like the first one for example? :)
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[29 Mar 2005|02:04pm] |
todayyy was weird...not a bad weird, kind of a good weird?
i watched...and gagged at Brandon eating easter eggs during lunch, complete with the dye still on them. I didn't know you could do that, I don't like eggssss. I really can't take VERY foul smells...seriously haha I gag so easily. Like when our whole F Tower smelled like sardines or something last week, I couldn't take it. Yeah, this is a random paragraph.
OH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED.
Joanne is the best...and is so pretty...and so nice...and so smart...and so cool...and is just the best person in the entire world.
(yeah, this was so not a planned paragraph from Forensics or anything :P haha no one else will get it)
andrew got Taco Bell, and was eating it in lunch, and I realized how much I loveeeee Taco Bell. I really was going to get it after school but I stopped myself. I went to Bagel Boss instead and the people know me there, it's bad. This guy was trying to give me a brownie, and I didn't want it, and he was insisting...and I still didn't want it. And I think I made other people behind me mad because this lady was like "GOD YOU COULD EAT TEN BROWNIES"...and she sounded mad...so I just took the brownie and he said if he found it on Jericho Turnpike he'd come find me...I just gave it to my dad.
i got to hear Faith Hill sing "There You'll Be" in FULL VERSION on the keyboard last night! Yeah, feka!
Mary came to school today as well...but Steve didn't pay attention to her, so she left. And she rode in her Hummer after she skipped to the car. Steve and her are getting married soon :) I so call being the priest. Eh nah I'd rather be the best man, Babs can be the priest.
Amanda comes home tonight! In Stats today when Mr. Forzano was doing attendance, he said "Amanda's not here?" and I said "No..." and he said "You sound very sad" and I was! Amanda needs to come home...it's been almost a week since I've heard her voice and it's just plain weird (yeah that sounds totally lesbian-like but whatever haha).
my favorite quote of the day still goes to Ms. Antunez...
*weird vibrating sound heard from computer*
Ms. Antunez: What was that?!
Some Kid: Oh, it was the computer printer out of ink.
Ms. Antunez: Oh, I was going to say that someone had a loud vibrator...*pause*...ON THEIR PHONE
*class dies laughing*
yessssss this entry was fun <3
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[25 Mar 2005|08:51pm] |
i'm boreddd and i will update now, like always
this vacation's been going pretty good, even though I think the best parts of it are going to be over now since...tomorrow is work and Sunday is Easter, and my family does nothing for that. Well, my mom cooks dinner and everything but it's not like I have any family to come over and spend time with. The one aunt I do consider real family is engaged and probably won't come because she's going crazy right now preparing for her wedding, which I totally understand. I guess I've just kind of gotten used to growing up without an extended family. I don't know, I hate this subject, so I'll stop now.
anywayyyy last night was guys night + Kristen. Basically it's Tobez, Brandon and Babs coming over and we watch movies and crap. Good old "Cabin Fever"...I watched it last night and tonight with Target people. I really would marry that cannibal child Dennis if I had the chance. And he really makes me want pancakes when he yells "PANCAKES!!!!!" and does his karate action. And I gave Tobez alot of the candy Andrew gave me because I can't have it in my house anymore. I'm sorry Andrew, I love Starbursts and Skittles and I ate plenty of them, and they just need to be somewhere else now before I go candy-crazy. So I gave them to Tobez and this morning...I walk downstairs and find them on my counter. I screamed, turns out he left them on my car all night and my dad brought them in, you asshole!!! haha
went to the mall....spent plenty of money in Aero but I had the giftcards so it really wasn't anythinggg...Brandon & Tobez came with me, I loved the "KRISTEN...YOU'RE NOT THERE YET?!?!" haha and the fact that we're so clueless as to where any store is in the mall.
afterwards I went to Target and it looked extremely busy...too bad I wasn't working, damn. I got a whole...EIGHT HOURS this week! Wow...those assholes, I hate them. How do they expect me to pay for my car and my insurance if they give me 8 hours a week. Well we do have less hours because of Easter and everything since the store is closed Sunday, but still. Makes me maddd :( and my paycheck kinda sucked, but it's all good.
just got home from a Target night with Brian, Heather and Charles. Went to Hooters...I stood on the chair and got sang to, I think the girl thought Brian was a girl since she said "These are my girlfriends" haha, and Heather & Charles were sweet and paid for us both for our birthdays. Then...we went to the Adult Video Store since...we're 18 and wanted to do something only 18 and up people can do. And I can honestly say I have no desire to ever walk in an Adult Video Store again. Ever. And their Mike & Ike Machine ate Brian's quarter but the Cancer Society was responsible for that, not the dirty old men running the store or anything. Watched Cabin Fever, played Pretty Pretty Princess, awesome night.
k this is way too long nowwww I'm sorry, work tomorrow 330-9 so I'm free afterwards, if people want to do something :)
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